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The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
[last lines] Narrator: He was ashamed of his persiflage, his boasting, his pretensions of courage and ...
by The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
0 votes   9702 views  


A Prairie Home Companion
Garrison Keillor: The penguin joke? Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin ...
by A Prairie Home Companion
0 votes   1501 views  
Finding Nemo
Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to him. Dory: Hmm. That's a funny thing to ...
by Finding Nemo
2 votes   1500 views  
Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again
Jeff Foxworthy: I remember when I was a kid, there were two medicines: aspirin and Campho-Phenique, ...
by Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again
1 votes   1489 views  
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy: Wait, Veronica, please tell me this is some kind of sick tasteless joke. Veronica ...
by Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
0 votes   1268 views  
Mean Girls
Regina: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just ...
by Mean Girls
2 votes   1255 views  
Heavy Weights
Gerry: [writing a letter] Dear Grandma... someone once said, "War is hell." They've never been to ...
by Heavy Weights
0 votes   1192 views  
Tropic Thunder
Les Grossman: Speedman is a dying star. A white dwarf headed for a black hole. That's ...
by Tropic Thunder
0 votes   1100 views  
Pure Country
Ernest Tucker: The funny thing about that little white speck on the top of chicken shit. ...
by Pure Country
0 votes   1088 views  
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Barbossa: So you expect to leave me standing on some beach with nothing but a name ...
by Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl
1 votes   1036 views  
Law Abiding Citizen
Clyde Shelton: This... Tetrodotoxin. Should be nicely into your system by now. Isolated from the liver ...
by Law Abiding Citizen
0 votes   1022 views  
Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
Jerome Sprout: [Before the combat dispute] I scooped him out. His name is Johnny Sun. He ...
by Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
0 votes   1019 views  
Finding Nemo
Bruce: So, what's a couple of bites like you doing out so late? Marlin: Nothing, we're not ...
by Finding Nemo
0 votes   1011 views  
Space Jam
Mouse announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Toon Squad: Standing two foot four, ...
by Space Jam
0 votes   993 views  
Bring It On
Big Red: I'm sexy, I'm cute, / I'm popular to boot. The Toros Squad: I'm bitchin', great ...
by Bring It On
0 votes   933 views  
Whatever Works
Boris Yellnikoff: [to audience] I happen to hate New Year's celebrations. Everybody desperate to have fun. ...
by Whatever Works
0 votes   910 views  
Dmx
An important and fundamental premise of the American judicial system is the presumption of innocence ...
by Dmx
0 votes   894 views  
Mean Girls
Gretchen: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak is a grotsky, little byotch. Regina: Still true. Gretchen: Dawn ...
by Mean Girls
0 votes   884 views  
The Doors
Ray Manzarek: I feel the universe functioning perfectly but I'm still perfectly locked inside myself. Instead ...
by The Doors
0 votes   830 views  
Zombieland
Little Rock: Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there. Columbus: The amusement park? ...
by Zombieland
1 votes   820 views  
Snatch.
[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van] Tyrone: I didn't see it there. Vinny: It's a ...
by Snatch.
0 votes   811 views  
Vegas Vacation
Hoover Dam Guide: Welcome everyone. I am your dam guide, Arnie. Now I'm about to take ...
by Vegas Vacation
0 votes   808 views  
Snatch.
[first lines] Turkish: [narrating] My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My ...
by Snatch.
0 votes   767 views  
Super Size Me
Morgan Spurlock: After six months of deliberation, Judge Robert Sweet dismissed the lawsuit against McDonald's. The ...
by Super Size Me
0 votes   757 views  
Finding Nemo
[Marlin and Dory are racing through the jellyfish forest. Marlin starts talking to himself] Marlin: So, ...
by Finding Nemo
0 votes   684 views  
The Big Lebowski
[at the funeral parlor] Walter Sobchak: GOD DAMN IT! Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't ...
by The Big Lebowski
0 votes   657 views  
My Own Private Idaho
Mike Waters: If I had a normal family, and a good upbringing, then I would have ...
by My Own Private Idaho
0 votes   643 views  
Victoria Silvstedt
'I make fun of myself too - I honestly don't really care.'
by Victoria Silvstedt
0 votes   638 views  
Pineapple Express
Dale Denton: [talking about his girlfriend] I go visit her in high school and all the ...
by Pineapple Express
0 votes   635 views  
The 40 Year Old Virgin
Cal: You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can ...
by The 40 Year Old Virgin
0 votes   624 views  
Up in the Air
[Ryan meets Alex Goran for the first time at a bar] Ryan Bingham: Are you satisfied ...
by Up In The Air
0 votes   622 views  
Megan Fox
I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe ...
by Megan Fox
0 votes   613 views  
Wedding Crashers
John Beckwith: Claire! Will you wait just a second? All I wanted is was a second ...
by Wedding Crashers
0 votes   599 views  
Martin Lawrence
Enjoy your popcorn and enjoy the jokes. It's just a movie, so have fun!
by Martin Lawrence
0 votes   596 views  
Moulin Rouge!
Zidler: [singing] If life's an awful bore, and living's just a chore that we do caus' ...
by Moulin Rouge!
-1 votes   579 views  
Victoria Silvstedt
'Some girls are really sensitive about that, but I know who I am and I ...
by Victoria Silvstedt
0 votes   579 views  
The Dark Knight
The Joker: You know, I'll settle for his loved ones. Gentleman at Party: We're not intimidated by ...
by The Dark Knight
0 votes   559 views  
Jarhead
All Marines: This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting and this ...
by Jarhead
0 votes   557 views  
Die Another Day
James Bond: [a device closes; cocks gun] So you lived to die another day... Colonel. Graves: At ...
by Die Another Day
0 votes   540 views  
The Sandlot
Benny Rodriguez: Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if ...
by The Sandlot
0 votes   508 views  
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